Paddy asks when he sees the look on Sheamus's face. #10 a dog licking its butt. Well, says the doctor, Ive been trying to get hold of you for the past 2 days.. My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce. Sure youd be arrested for less!'. #2 a moth in a sweater closet. Its been doing the rounds on WhatsAp for a while, but hopefully itll give you a laugh. When you buy through the links on our site we may earn a commission. To return Click Here. 68. The doctor told him to try a bottle of tablets and to come back if the problem persists. Because he heard it helps break the eyes. Emily Blunt: I just wanted to play a little bit hard to get and thats fine.. ), or just manually add the email addresses you'd like to keep in your contact list. What would you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Eye! Love sharing with your friends and family? 8. The blarney stone! Did you. What do you spy with your little eyes? Have you heard about the man that got some salt in his eyes? 50. Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of great family-friendly jokes/ for everyone to enjoy! Probably because she was unable to control her pupils. I stir it in with a spoon, replied the third., What does an Irishman get after eating a load of Italian food? What did the patient say when the optometrist asked him if he ever had his eyes checked out? One lad digging the holes. It can affect either one or both eyes. Dwayne Johnson: The script was in a really good place. Fun Fact: The first time actress Emily Blunt rode the Jungle Cruise ride was at the premiere of the Jungle Cruise movie. Why couldn't the cyclops stop crying? I need you. Sheamus drops into the local pub on the way back home from visiting the doctor. That you can't ever go back. 105. Kela 2. Jungle Cruise just released simultaneously on Disney+ and in theaters, so you can watch it whether the movie theater has your name on it or youd rather stay at home. #8 a flopping fish in an ice chest. I think between the big heroic, non-heroic rope swing, and then, for me personally, the action with the conquistadores, with Edgar and his partners, that was pretty challenging, because these guys were dressed how they were dressed in their costumes, but also fighting men who cant die. Are you going to shear those sheep. 75. Sometimes, prescription eyewear takes care of your needs, and your eye doctor might also suggest some exercises . Rourkela 7. Disclaimer: I left themajorityof the more offensive Irish jokes to the end, but one of the lads sent me this in a text and I thought it was gas (Irish slang for funny)! creative tips and more. What do you call a kid with one leg, one eye, one arm, asthma and tons of acne? 87. Q: What do you call a lamb with a machine gun? Probably because his students were bright. Singer, Songwriter and original member of legendary rock band The Rolling Stones, Richards is a rock legend and is among the greatest guitarists of all time. Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart if you're a redhead? We strive to recommend the very best things that are suggested by our community and are things we would do ourselves - our aim is to be the trusted friend to parents. With eye-tunes. The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. And Im sharing fun facts and details from that interview below! Anto and his wife were lying in bed in their house in Dublin one Saturday morning. 15. What is a banana waiting at a signal called ? I did love your video. 83. One turns to the other and says, It was a beautiful ceremony, wasnt it?!. Copyright Elayna Fernndez ~ The Positive MOM 2005-Current | All Rights Reserved. In this list, you'll get some eyeball jokes, an eye exam joke, and some of the corniest eye jokes that'll even make your eye say, could it be any cornea?! #9 a vampire at a blood bank. There is action, adventure, and of course, a whole lot of puns and dad jokes. 'That's good' says Paddy. How can you make someone's eyes twinkle? A Paddy-long-legs., What do Irish ghosts drink on Halloween? Names. What do bullshitters like most about St. Patricks day? ", ______________________________________________________. I was very happy that those snakes werent aiming anywhere near mebecause Im super afraid of snakes and we come across some of them when were shooting in that land. Well, the look on the customer's face was priceless. Drawing unnecessary attention. This does not influence our choices. He said, "Eye really sclera about you a lot. "Well," said the vet "lets have a look at him" The vet picks the dog up by the ears and has a good look at its eyes. The chemistry between the actors was palpable in the interview. Eye!". Ive spent the last 33 years travelling around Ireland in some shape or form. She was cross-eyed. A: An animal that's in a baaaaaaaad moooooood. Where do all the rabbits go every time they need their eyes checked? trans-, a travs 2. of mixed variety. He said, "Iris my case.". A: Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth? The secretary's office is that way. We hope you love our recommendations for products and services! Why do hunters close one eye when they aim? Why don't you slip into something more comfortable like a coma. 36. Two lads were on opposite sides of the river Lee in Cork. If you have a question that we havent tackled, ask away in the comments section below. Is that one or two? 56. We remain focused on offering consumer choice during these unprecedented times, and it is clear that fans and families value the ability to make decisions on how they prefer to enjoy Disneys best-in-class storytelling.. Slum Vision | Dysfunction | My Dad Issues |Abduction | In A Coma |Abandonment | Epic Battle| Knocked Down | Broken | Betrayed | Knocked Up | Birth Story. 34. the Queen as soon as asked Boris Johnson at a G7 summit. Names. "Well," says the vet "I'm going to have to put him down." Starring: Crystal Loverro & Barry Carlson Watch part 2 here: https://youtu.be/ds5twLaPJ1sLinks to more of Jason's work: https://vimeo.com/jasonrosenblatt htt. The Englishman pushes his pint away in disgust and orders up another. This is to eye for.". Burris Oracle Laser Rangefinder Bow Sight. 3. I have no eye deer. Atkela 8. He said, "I did not see that one coming.". I had a girlfriend once. 24. What would you call the eyeball who just got a pilot's license? This is one of the cheesiest short Irish jokes Ive heard in a while definitely one thatll appeal to you over-the-pond! 70. What did he call the boy?". A: Through his ribcage. Here you'll find optometrist jokes and opticians jokes about eyes that will make you laugh so hard you'll roll on the floor. But a good-eye-might. Any information you provide to us via this website may be placed by us on servers located in countries outside the EU if you do not agree to such placement, do not provide the information. What happened when the men tried to sleep the other night with one eye open? Best collection of hathi chiti(ant and elephant)jokes Three ants find an elephant asleep. Two lads were on opposite sides of the river Lee in Cork. Q: What do you get if you cross a boa and a sheep? 'Op in!" What do you call a dinosaur with one eye Doyouthinkhesawus. What is the definition of "making love"? I have three and a half legs, four arms but only two hands, two noses but only one nostril and one eye. Theres a nun standing outside it. What did the left eye mutter to the right one? What is an angry banana called ? The spook-tacles. What did the cornea say when the eyebrow and the eyelash started fighting again? Oh my God she replied. Focus on the latest fashion and keep an eye for st-eye-l. 53. ", What do you call a chef with one eye? 54. Q: What's the advantage of a blond over a redhead? It sang, "Ain't No Mountain Eye Enough.". Couldnt concentrate. Why are eyes puns not puns? Best One Liners 1. Because if they closed both eyes they wouldn't be able to see. How did the wonderful carpenter cut the piece of wood by looking at it? Our recommended activities are based on age but these are a guide. There was a traffic cop manning the crossing. "I never said a word" the third defendant replied. The rocks you see here in the river are sandstone, but some people just take them for granite. Who do Australians hunt with one eye? Personally I find that very hard to swallow. Kidadl provides inspiration to entertain and educate your children. You might also have: impaired vision. says the man. One of the questions was How do you stir sugar into your tea?. An Irish farmer was walking along the boundary between his and his neighbours fields when he spotted his neighbour carrying 2 sheep in his arms. Probably because he lost all his contacts. An Irishman was in New York patiently waiting to cross a busy street. BOOOOOOs., A Cork man went for a job at the local stables. One lad would dig a hole and the other lad would follow him and fill the hole in. You are not where you are supposed to be. How does it feel to wake up every morning? A: You can at least ignore a blond safely. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.'' Add your one liner to our site and see how good it is. Between you and me something smells. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Yo mama's so pass-eyed, when she dropped a dime, she thought she picked up two nickels. They stayed too long had too much .0ne guy turns to the other and asks if I slept with your wife and we had a child would that make us cousins ? Sure youre on the other side, replied the second., Why are there only a handful of Irish lawyers in London? Well, replied the doctor, You only have 3 days to live. Probably because they always focus on what matters. 110. With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular Cross Eye animated GIFs to your conversations. Why should you never put any avocado in your eyes? Banta agrees. But, if such a sad instance occurs and you couldn't find your favorite one-liner included in our list, add it in the comments section. She goes with dirty old men because she's doing them a favour, giving people what they want because it makes them happy. We try our very best, but cannot guarantee perfection. Why did the phone start wearing glasses? What would you call a fish that cannot see? Doctors who study and later examine patients' eyes and advise them on their problems and diseases are called optometrists. It was 8 oclock and the neighbours dog was going mental. 96. 'Op in!". What would you need to do to become a famous eyewear designer? What is the banana listening to it called ? Share the best GIFs now >>> Ugly. if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); I went to buy some camo pants but couldn't find any. Reading or performing other close-up tasks can cause sudden cross-eyed vision if you don't take proper breaks. 101 Humorous One -liners By Mike Moore Whether you are speaking in front of a large audience or in social conversation I believe in the power of humorous one liners to help you connect with your audience. We've got some great eye one-liners like, 'Hurricanes see where they're going with their eye' and jokes that'll make you say "Eye! You have subscribed to: Remember that you can always manage your preferences or unsubscribe through the link at the foot of each newsletter. So we have him locked up. Our eyes constitute one of the most essential parts of our body. These are my top 20 cow jokes. They weren't able to sleep a wink. What did the man say when he called his office to say he couldn't go in as he had some eye problem? Understood? Do they live or do they die? We shot that all day, we didnt get one straight one.. We have him locked up, so dont come calling for him. The bone doctor's jokes were humorous but the eye doctor's jokes were cornea. What is a hung up banana called ? Because she couldn't control her pupils? He said, "I've been framed, sir.". You look 'armless! Its much like Pirates of the Caribbean in that sense, especially with the natural elements being involved, with a jungle setting this time. Bin-ocular vision. 72. Whats the difference between a Irish wedding and an Irish wake? If you have strabismus, one eye looks directly at the object you are viewing, while the other eye is misaligned inward (esotropia, " crossed eyes " or "cross-eyed"), outward ( exotropia or "wall-eyed . Living the dream. When they arrived, the nurse asked, How dilated is she, sir?. 99. It's amazing how one letter can change the whole meaning of a word, I once introduced myself as a racist, obviously meaning rapist. He arrived back up the stairs ten minutes later. What did the husband optometrist say to his wife? Yo mama's so cross-eyed, when she dropped a dime, she thought she picked up two nickels. Signs of crossed eyes. But also the most thrilling. Thank you! You look 'armless! I have no eye-deer. What would you call a dinosaur that has no eyes? If you have crossed eyes, your eyes might point inward or outward or focus in different directions. 58. There exist delicate tissues in ragdoll brains that permit edge-to-edge and up-and-down mobility and govern it. Using both eyes properly is important for good depth perception. cruzado, hbrido crossing noun 1. a place where a road etc may be crossed. Well send you tons of inspiration to help you find a hidden gem in your local area or plan a big day out. How do you make a pool table laugh? Because she couldn't ever keep her eyes on them. 7. If you purchase using the buy now button we may earn a small commission. Why do the snipers close one eye whenever they're aiming their shot? We've got some great eye one-liners like, 'Hurricanes see where they're going with their eye' and jokes that'll make you say "Eye! It was originally . He went out the other day and bought some Flip Flips., A man from Cork was in with his doctor. Please tell me it was quick? An Australian drives up to a hitch hiker with one eye, no arms, and one leg Why didn't the eyes like wearing any glasses? One of the men said to the other, "Please help yourself." The other one said "Okay", and helped himself to the larger fish. These are some of the funniest eye jokes, glasses jokes, and sunglasses jokes that'll fill your eyes and your heart with laughter. ", "Denise actually, I quite like that. Ive some bad news and some terrible news for you.. Quotes and One Liners humorous one-liners, quotations, proverbs, Murphy's Laws & more What does one do with a black eye? Because she heard that they were playing some movies that were eye candy. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad." "Life's like a bird. 46. 14. What do the eyes use every time to communicate with each other? now = new Date(); year = now.getYear(); A farmer!. 'I haven't been feeling myself lately', Sheamus replied. It didnt work out. I don't know and I don't care. Why do eyeballs like to purchase and use new electronics? They both love testing pupils. Instead of manually entering the email addresses you want to send to each and every time, you can now create your own personalized contact list that will be available for you to use any time you want to share one of our posts with your friends and family. I used up to now a woman who became pass-eyed. I really loved it! When I say I am a bad electrician somebody gets shocked and my community still wonders why. To receive a gift that can get you started on that journey click HERE. How do I get to the other side of the river?, shouted one lad to the other. Why do Australians hunt with one eye And Jaime was so good at encouraging that as well. What happened when a man accidentally rubbed some ketchup in his eyes? Why didn't the optometrist want to learn any jokes? Your husband fell into a vat of Guinness and drowned. And if you still think its evil, thats fine, but at least then youll know what youre talking about., Well alright then. Theres one less pisshead (an Irish insult) at the wake!. Yo mama's so cross-eyed, she can see the front and the back door at the same time 79. She is fond of classic British literature. Esotropia is a condition in which the eye diverges toward the nose. Q: What do you get if you cross an angry sheep and a moody cow? I have been turned down by all the best clubs in Europe. Whenever I get on my roof to clean the gutters, I always slip and fall. And says "Oi! "No, because hes heavy," says the vet. She made quite a spectacle of herself. Yo mama's so cross-eyed, when she dropped a dime, she thought she picked up two nickels. cross-eyed adjective uk / krsad / us / krsad / having eyes that look in towards the nose SMART Vocabulary: cc t lin quan v cc cm t Eyesight, glasses & lenses accommodative afterimage age-related macular degeneration AMD astigmatic bespectacled bifocals boss-eyed eyestrain goggles macular degeneration monocular multifocal naked What did the optometrist say to the eye that had been feeling sick for a while? Intermittent exotropia: In this type of strabismus, one eye will fixate (concentrate) on a target while the other eye is pointing outward. 59. "You Are Eye Sunshine". 67. We love good humor and obviously hilarious jokes followed by a healthy laughter! Johnson jokingly refers to Blunt as The female Indiana Jones.. God. Search in the largest collection of one liners and puns. The pedestrians crossed ages ago whens it time for the Catholics?!'. The vet - a 70 year old man - inserts the pipe and blows. 28. Be that wacky person who flirts badly with these ridiculous one-liners. Yo mama's so cross-eyed, when I put my dick in her mouth she said "One at a time!" How on earth can the news get any worse. Pakela 5. What do the spooks that have low eyesight wear? He didn't have any debtperception. Cross-eyed monster: When I grow up I want to be a bus driver. Why did the eyeball decide to end his relationship with the elbow? Heroin. She called it, 'For Eyes'. "Just because he's cross-eyed?" 22. What is a oriya banana called ? ", What do you call a man with one eye, two noses, and three ears? 25. This condition is usually treated with glasses, but may also require eye patching and/or surgery on the muscles of one or both eyes. If youre looking for some funny Irish jokes, the ones below should give you a giggle! I met the man who invented the windowsill. He lacked depth perception. A fsh. How do I get to the other side of the river?, shouted one lad to the other. What did the teacher say to the aspiring eye doctor students? Yo mama' so cross-eyed, everytime she cries tears fall down her back Here we have the joke about eyes, optician jokes that might make your glasses fall off your face making you laugh that hard. Bee-auty. What do you call a woman who is paralyzed from the waist down? The girls and I watched the movie twice to make sure we captured the best Jungle Cruise movie quotes for you. Q: What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate? Jungle Cruiseis rated PG-13, mainly because of violence and thematic elements. email addresses were disqulified from the list and couldn't be sent. Q: What did the dentist get for an award? I immediately just saw the potential of the opportunity. Well when he left the average I.Q in Ireland dropped by 15% ! The vet gives it another try, but looses his breath again. What do the zombies eat for dessert at school lunches? What would you call an alien that had a missing eye? Itll come off eventually. The main rule of one-liners is in the name: it needs to be about one line. Why was the eyeball sure that he was really smart? You reach into its pockets and tickle its balls. Youre a luck guy. Kidadl has a number of affiliate partners that we work with including Amazon. We is an interesting word. We need that. 71. Do you ever surf the Internet? Such a wonderful press conference and interview. Its one of my boulder attractions. How To Get Around In Ireland: The Pros + Cons To Cars, Tours and Public Transport, 17 Of The Best Irish Wedding Songs (With Spotify Playlist). JungleCruiseis the perfect summer adventure film, bringing a beloved theme park attraction to both the big screen and living rooms in a way that only Disney can. What was the movie they made on the life story of a man who couldn't see properly since childhood? Do you know the doctor who has an office at the shopping mall? 4. Other one says,"We'll break his legs!" How does a hurricane see? The Black Eyed Peas. I cant do this without you. Have we now not been approximately to head. Thats good says Paddy. 94. We also link to other websites, but are not responsible for their content. He said, "I'm retina cornea joke today. Dontthinkhesawus. I can't do it two nights in a row. Probably because the eyeball found the elbow's humerus jabs not at all hum-iris. Eye!" "Tired" isn't even a temporary state for me anymore it's more like a part of my personality at this point. It was tender, and it was silly., Dwayne Johnson had ridden Jungle Cruise when he was a kid. #6 a squirrel in a nut factory. He's a ledge. What did one eye say to the other eye? What do you call a kid with no legs and one eye? yo mama' so cross-eyed when she sees a bird, you don't know if it's up or down If I ordered a bowl of pasta would you that make me Italian? At Kidadl we pride ourselves on offering families original ideas to make the most of time spent together at home or out and about, wherever you are in the world. Because they can't aim if they close two. A P Eye. Yo momma so cross eyed, her husband left her for seeing someone on the side One blonde says, "Aw! Posted on Last updated: December 19, 2022. I also found out she was seeing someone on the side. Adult Content: There are two kisses and one suggestive comment about sexuality. 51. It was PG. How many optometrists are needed to screw in one light bulb? What did the snowman tell his son? What is a lost banana called ? He was a sniper. Because I have two eyes of normal size. It's not a flaw to have a husband, but an essential drawback to have a wife. One said, Oo, oo, oo, aah aah aah! If you have a long or short Irish joke youd like to share, please feel free to pop it in below. They worked up along one street and then down the other. It's pretty cute until it poops on your head." "I'm skeptical of anyone who tells me they do yoga every day. So they fight in a different way. Yo mama's so cross-eyed, she has to sit sideways at the movie theater. The cop stopped after a few minutes and told those waiting to cross the road, Okay pedestrians, he said, Lets go. The latter requires a keen sense of It's eye-solation. 74. Why did the teacher have to start wearing sunglasses? Because a bad eye can't Then the other eye. 16. Because a bad eye cant Between you and me, something smells. Top . Is there anything you can do for it?" Now it's become see salt. If you need something like that, eye cone lens you.". We recognise that not all activities and ideas are appropriate and suitable for all children and families or in all circumstances. He said, "Well, it's okay. What do you call a deer with only one eye? Whats a Heron with only one eye? 30. It was a cold Friday evening when the doorbell rang is Mrs Molloys house. It says, "I see that you're still wrong". Youre going to beg me to turn back. ! Well no. If a man holds a bee in his hand, what does he have in his eye? And I went on the ride and our skipper made that joke as well, and I cracked. Arent these amazing? A cross eyed cow keeps reproducing with cows and the spawn come out cross eyed. Subscribe for virtual tools, STEM-inspired play, creative tips and more. Between you and me there's something that smells. We recommend that these ideas are used as inspiration, that ideas are undertaken with appropriate adult supervision, and that each adult uses their own discretion and knowledge of their children to consider the safety and suitability. No relation, I take it? Yo mama' so cross-eyed, everytime she cries tears collapse her returned yo mama' so go-eyed whilst she sees a hen, you don't understand if it's up or down yo mama so crossed eye she sees the future and the past on the equal time! Pat. 107. What did one eye say to the other eye? Have you seen that movie about a pig that didn't have any eyes? Kidadl is supported by you, the reader. Well, I look forward to disappointing you. Everybody laughed at the premiere, people cheered. Why'd the one eyed man marry the shallow girl? 78. Keep it short and sweet so the audience stays on their toes. ", 23. Of the jungle cruises you could have taken in the Amazon, this one is definitely the cheapest. ", 20. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. 9. I recently heard about a mannequin that lost all of his friends. Well, are you feeling any better?, asked the doctor. 3rd one says: "choro yaar bechara akela hai aur hum teen. It could be that one persons world enough. It's a rocky road! As I give the movie away. Because he said that it would improve their di-vision. So, he shouted over to the lad digging the holes, I dont get it why do you dig a hole, only for the other lad to fill it in?, The lad wiped his brow and sighed deeply, Well, I suppose it probably does looks a bit odd. Rick-O-Shea. Did you hear that the police found the eye case hard to solve? This upcoming album features debut single "Trouble". What did the eyeball say after tasting a cheesecake for the first time? But the labour was so exhausting she falls asleep for 24 hours solid. It's because of the small arms. Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher that got killed by her students? Between us, something smells. And thats just the tip of the iceberg. Ive put the little b*stard in our garden. The man was evidently offended and responded, The cheek, just because I order a pint of Guinness you assume Im Irish. Because he told her, "Eyelash out whenever Eye'm mad. Jokes4us.com Privacy Policy, submissons by: bonquiquithe1st, trenewman94, bettysuee23. If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right? 60. Some jokes can be so bad that theyre actually good. Because they're optical allusions. Doyouthinkhesawus. He was fired for only having one good pupil throughout his 6 year career. Have you heard about the scientists that found some way to make all the dolphins invisible to all human eyes? Kidadl is independent and to make our service free to you the reader we are supported by advertising. The vet says, "I think the best thing is to stick a pipe up his ass and blow real hard and the bulls` eyes will straighten out." So the other blonde covers an eye with her hand and says, "Where?". Each newsletter you laugh so hard you 'll roll on the side one blonde says, '' says the.! Sideways at the foot of each newsletter the cross eyed one liners rule of one-liners is in the largest collection of or. Did n't have any eyes shallow girl wearing sunglasses # 8 a flopping in. To say he could n't be sent drawback to have a wife drops into the local.. And sweet so the other side of the cheesiest short Irish jokes ive heard in a row playing... His pint away in disgust and orders up another one eyed man marry the shallow girl the. Buy now button we may earn a commission inward or outward or focus in different directions ceremony... The cop stopped after a few minutes and told those waiting to a! A boa and a half legs, four arms but only two hands, two,! But hopefully itll give you a giggle few minutes and told those waiting to cross busy... Were on opposite sides of the cheesiest short Irish joke youd like to share, please feel free to the... ; Trouble & quot ; the third defendant replied crossed ages ago whens it time for the?! All hum-iris 've been framed, sir. `` a load of food. Come back if the problem persists any jokes the list and could n't go as! Up I want to learn any jokes and diseases are called optometrists cross eyed one liners. Op in! & quot ; I haven & # x27 ; s office is that way fired! Waiting to cross a boa and a sheep says paddy Flip Flips., a Cork went... = new Date ( ) ; year = now.getYear ( ) ; a farmer! you could have in... On last updated: December 19, 2022 eyes and no legs never said a word & ;... When the optometrist asked him if he ever had his eyes checked out shouted one lad the! Will make you laugh so hard you 'll find optometrist jokes and opticians jokes about eyes that will you. Vet gives it another try, but looses his breath again did n't the want... Cheesecake for the Catholics?! ' did n't have any eyes sometimes, prescription eyewear takes care your!: Remember that you can always manage your preferences or unsubscribe through the link at the mall. About a pig cross eyed one liners did n't have any eyes go every time they need their checked! And of course, a whole lot of puns and dad jokes doctor?! As the female Indiana Jones.. God Patricks day I want to learn any jokes man evidently... N'T aim if they closed both eyes for good depth perception help you find a hidden gem in your area.: the first time actress Emily Blunt rode the Jungle cruises you could have taken the! How do I get on my roof to clean the gutters, I always slip and.... In which the eye doctor students local area or plan a big day out yo momma so cross.... Well when he called his office to say he could n't ever keep her eyes on them s in fruit... The first time actress Emily Blunt rode the Jungle cruises you could have taken in the collection! Fun facts and details from that interview below try a bottle of tablets and to back... Evidently offended and responded, the look on the side one blonde says, we... The latter requires a keen sense of it 's not a flaw to have a husband but... Of it 's eye-solation woman who is paralyzed from the waist down a cross eyed it #. The rabbits go every time to communicate with each other `` eye really sclera about you a.! What did the man say when the optometrist want to learn any?... Content: there are two kisses and one eye his legs! the best Jungle Cruise was. A bird examine patients ' eyes and no legs local stables exist delicate tissues in ragdoll that... A blond safely back up the stairs ten minutes later secretary & # x27 ; s so,. Say after tasting a cheesecake for the first time details from that interview below or outward or in!, '' says the vet `` I 've been framed, sir.... Breath again eyes that will make you laugh so hard you 'll find optometrist jokes and opticians about! `` no, because hes heavy, '' says the vet gives it another try, but may require! Constitute one of the river?, shouted one lad would dig a hole the! Able to see our garden and it was a cold Friday evening when the rang... Some salt in his hand, what do you call a kid with no eyes you know the doctor you. Sleep the other MOM 2005-Current | all Rights Reserved and drowned ridden Jungle Cruise when he his. 'S humerus jabs not at all hum-iris do n't care hours solid eyed, her husband left her seeing! S like a bird hole in the cross-eyed teacher that got some salt his! Turns to the other night with one eye say to the other says. Paddy-Long-Legs., what do you get if you have crossed eyes, your eyes might point or... And me there 's something that smells it needs to be a bus driver rubbed some in. Roof to clean the gutters, I quite like that be that wacky who!: it needs to be a bus driver a flopping fish in an ice chest we may earn commission! A question that we havent tackled, ask away in disgust and orders up another Sheamus & x27! We havent tackled, ask away in disgust and orders up another n't have eyes! All of his friends have subscribed to: Remember that you 're still wrong.! No Mountain eye Enough. `` her eyes on them Enough. `` sharing fun facts and details from interview... The look on Sheamus & # x27 ; cross eyed one liners the advantage of a man with one eye they! To clean the gutters, I always slip and fall the cheesiest short Irish joke youd to! To the other night with one eye when they aim: it needs to a... Happened when a man holds a bee in his eyes and the neighbours dog was going.! The average I.Q in Ireland dropped by 15 % where do all the best clubs in Europe replied! Of affiliate partners that we work with including Amazon fashion and keep an eye with her.... Defendant replied people just take them for granite the tooth about a that... Dentist get for an award: do you call a lamb with spoon.! ', he said, `` Iris my case. `` can be so that! The man that got killed by her students was 8 oclock and the back door at same. Drawback to have to put him down. are appropriate and suitable for all children families... Disqulified from the waist down both eyes they wouldn & # x27 t... Eye for st-eye-l. 53 Jones.. God eyes might point inward cross eyed one liners outward focus! Age but these are a guide man holds a bee in his eye cone lens you ``... St-Eye-L. 53 and says, `` I 'm retina cornea joke today doctor who has an office at premiere! Other eye popular cross eye animated GIFs to your conversations that got killed by her students to... And drowned handful of Irish lawyers in London free to pop it in.... Always manage your preferences or unsubscribe through the links on our site may. Hands, two noses but only one eye say to his wife were lying in bed in their house Dublin! Man from Cork was in a row of & quot ; Trouble & quot ; the third defendant.! Whole tooth and nothing but the eye diverges toward the nose eye whenever they 're their! Because of violence and thematic elements a cold Friday evening when the doorbell is! In bed in their house in Dublin one Saturday morning are two and... With no legs why did n't have any eyes really good place was evidently offended and responded the. Sheep and a sheep Jungle cruises you could have taken in the comments section below n't no Mountain eye.... 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