I even leave the house for a few hours. I'm not,however, in any way, implying your bf is as bad as this. He is allowing his friends to mistreat you. Calling me names and he also told her how i just came up and told her were i hide my car. Anyway my boyfriend and i have been together 18 months and this same guy happens to have worked with him. He told me that I should just ignore it. Give him time and space to think and you take time, as well. I was not interested in him at all because he smokes marijuana and is a complete looser. Not accepting him for who he is makes it difficult to love him fully and completely. Imagine having to go through THAT everyday. Saying things like YOU need to make peace (when i already have, even though I wasnt in the wrong) or things like why didnt YOU say hello to her (when SHE didnt say hello to me either). He is a bonifide pussy. Ive told him many time how I feel but still his sister treats me like crap. And my solution to this is to cheat and find a man that will. 10 things to consider when your boyfriend doesn't have a job 1) Why doesn't he have a job? In this article, we'll explore the pros and cons of using TikTok for mental health advice. What would happen if you continued the way things are, and stopped fighting the way your boyfriends child feels about you? He bought me a promise ring and always talks about our future together but I have no idea whether hell choose me at the end of the day when it comes to that decision because I know his parents will never accept me. Its been 4 years since weve been together. No way should you be coaxing him out of his funk, or whatever. I'm not gonna lie to you. U get what I mean? "Creating trust is the whole point of offering emotional/physical/intellectual spiritual support," says Hanalei Vierra, a California marriage and family therapist. I just feel defeated and like Im not good enough for him when his sister is around. Hes even stood up to me before, granted it was over text. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. KerrianAugust 24, 2010 in Relationship Advice. What makes you think you cant have a good relationship even though his child doesnt accept you? My bf does stand up for me in all cases except with this one. And he does not stand up for you, not even thn. I agree that it is easier said than done to change relationships and behavior, but sometimes its worth the effort. However - I'm not one to give up on a relationship when problems arise, I want to try and sort out this firstbecause I know I'm stressed at the moment, and I know the distance is getting to me, and I know that I'm getting annoyed with him more readily than I should. Just try and make it clear from the start that you're asking this strictly so your relationship will work better, not because you want to change his personality or anything(people tend to take that personally Can't imagine why, really. Having been in exactly the same position with a slightly different situation even after telling my other half nothing has changed. Be clear how you what you want your boyfriend to stand up for you. WrittenInTheStars If he doesn't then you have to take a good look at the relationship and ask yourself what you are getting from it and if it really is worth it. I tried to talk to him about it but it never ever went anywhere. He wants to get married, but Im worried this wont ever change and I cant deal with her controlling him for the rest of my life. Good night, (nickname)." I admire your courage and strength, Blair! also hes a hypocrite he yells at me for going to a guys house when I lived with him for a year with my family so hes like a brother to me but then I found out during my spring break he was at a girls house drinking and smoking and yelled at me when I went to the guys house bu he went to her house before I went to his and I didnt even know he was there what should I do???? I broke up with him after a year and a half thinking "Oh, my God, how could I have dated this guy for so long?" If your boyfriend, one of his friends, or his family is bullying, ignoring or being rude to you and if theyre energized by their own actions then they may be toxic. The main problem is that I don't know how to react when he goes into one of these tantrumssilences, whatever they are. About me. An optimist, a person who will make you smile during hard times and stand by you. "Being in a relationship means you can count on each other, but if they dont stand up for you, either in private or in public, theres a dissolution of trust, [which] allows negativity and anger to creep into the relationship.". He condones their behavior, and 2. ", If one partner regularly feels alone, it could breed resentment and questions about the future. Until, just like you said, we had problems. When you are ready to talk to me again, give me a call. They think I was immature about the situation.. my boyfriend was there during that incident but laughed at her joke. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. How do you respond when your boyfriend lets his family, friends or coworkers walk all over you? I have recently moved my fiances friends in our apartment. My boyfriend won't stand up for himself. Him not standing up to his mom for himself or for us is really ruining the relationship for me. Relationship advice for women and men on quips and tips for love and relationships. She only cares about herself and her dogs. His sister and his dad really hate me thats I think . We ve been together for 4 years and a half My boyfriends' dad is a doctor who doesn t have a leg( he has a prostethic one) and his mother has Press J to jump to the feed. I don't know. His sister has taken him from me in past and everytime she does. 2020 same boat, even worse, with two drunky I have to deal with. Be honest with yourself. "A couple who demonstrates mutual support will be a longer-lasting and happier couple," Graber says. Do you deserve this unsolicited scrutiny from his inner circle? This is just a psychological trick, to blame others so that your partner wont think its you who thinks that way. Okay I need some help ! If he doesnt stand up for you now, what will make him stand up for you in the future? He is truly mistaken and as a mature person should have gotten to know you instead of being manipulated. Amica Graber, relationship expert for the background-checking site TruthFinder. You and he may get back together if its right for both of you.and if its not right, then you wont reconnect. What should I do Im so upset about the whole situation I love him so much I feel like I cant let him go even at the thought of us breaking up it brings me to tears and makes me feel sick. So as soon as I close all ties, I will leave him. Or maybe the break will do him good but I highly doubt that, especially as you've talked about his depression and everything. He doesn't just suddenly lose all brain function because something is wrong. At this point I would rather live in my car, I cant take this anymore. Then Emmett sweet, sweet Emmett agrees to supervise Elle as the required licensed attorney (Ill supervise, your honor). But Im still not good enough. If you decide to leave this guy, of course. I was recently diagnosed with autism with aspbugers syndrome and making friends is not easy for me to make. If I lose my husband when Im a senior, I hope I find love againlike you did! "Then add, 'I happen to have a different opinion, but that does not discount what you are feeling and the value your feelings have.'". Dear Wendy: This is my input from my understanding of the situation: 1. Boyfriend smiles broadly, thinking you guys are getting along, when in fact, this was a lowblow, because she asks if you have a skindisease later, which he again percieves as affectionate concern.. Do you really care what his friends think of you? He's very cute, he's very thoughtful (for the most part), he can be optimistic and enthusiastic but he's a pushover. They might feel disloyal by voicing support for you. "If someone can't support you during an external conflict, they probably aren't going to support you in any other areas of your future, such as your career or having a family, Graber adds. Who knows, maybe if you talk more, he'll come around. He may not be aware of the situation it wasnt made clear in the post. As for sticking up that should be part of the growing process to be reassured that this guy isnt a wimp or the gal is going to flake on him. "It should be said that being romantically involved with someone doesn't always mean that you take their side," Graber says. Families are complicated, and their interactions are caused by so many different factors. Your man's low self-esteem can manifest in a variety of ways. This is not necessarily a reflection on your relationship; your boyfriend may just need a bit more time alone. and shes is miserable. I think you did great by breaking up with him, you are obviously not after money and u obviously tried so hard to be the girl to meet expectations. I dont give advice, but its important to remember that you cant change who your boyfriend is. Ive seen it over and over again the dynamics of these relationships, and they dont end well. I dont want ANY of there money. He's so used to his mother dashing around on their little sailboat and him having to adjust to her movements to stay stable. You love your boyfriend, but how can you be with a guy who cant or wont defend you? You can only accomplish these goals by telling your partner. But I'm now left playing the only supporting role in a relationship, and a lot of the time it feels like I might as well be in a relationship on my own. It wasn't until he looked through my cell phone that he accepted it. I have a friend whose husband needs constant attention. Question. And will then, halfway through said activity/meal/film, will admit that he really felt like something else. In this article, we'll explore why the Goblin Mode dating strategy is such a success. It would give about as much emotional support as my boyfriend. We are working on our 2nd year being together. I am open to moving to where he wants in the future under different circumstances but its clear that still isnt good enough because he wants me to say that I will do what he wants right now regardless of all of my concerns about and my personal goals and wishes. I remember several occassions in which I was unwantedly fondled in a club, and to which my boyfriend later replied; Ah just ignore em. He seemed to be quite careless with anything, whether it be a younger guy that tried dragging me away from a club, a salesman in Greece that grabbed my breasts or his own father, that kept jokingly slapping my behind, after which he whispered that he liked my hair. You Feel Appreciated. I think he needs to know that you aren't prepared to put up with his tantrums/silences/emotional blackmail. It sounds cliche, but communication really is key. Hes a good man, isnt he? Started February 13, By Good job, you dont deserve to be treated that way. I had never in my whole life been hurt like that and it was very hurtful and I got to thinking that if he cant stand up at some point in time for me , then he never will. Lack of energy: Fatigue and lack of energy are symptomatic of depression, and some people find spending time with others too draining. Love is blinding and allows you to make stupid decisions. I told him why didnt you stick up for me with your friends and he said does it matter to me. If you can accept that your boyfriend doesnt stand up for you, you might be happier in your relationship with him. Graber, relationship expert for the background-checking site TruthFinder for himself or for us is really ruining the for! 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