I love her so much and wish I could take her pain away, but I feel ive lost myself and no longer feel happy. Shes 30, Im 26, she never had a boyfriend, nor had sex or drugs nor anything. He is also seeing a psychiatrist who has advised he doesnt work I am doing 3 jobs to pay for my divorce as he is going to go bankrupt with his business =- because he couldnt face going in to work except at lunch time. All I could do is be the best boyfriend a girl could have. She keeps saying this like Im not a good person & I dont think Ill ever stop feeling this way I have given her reassurance, saying Im here for it through the good and bad, but fuck it seems like Im talking to a brick wall sometimes. After everything I did, I have been there every single day, sharing my life with her, and pushing her away from this disease. I dont mind being a caretaker.. but it has to be for someone who also cares about me. she knows im here for her. The reason I feel it's dragging me down is that my girlfriend's mother has always been extremely disrespectful to me. Every time I look at her pics, I am immediately in love again by seeing her smile but in person all I am thinking of is an exit strategy despite all the caring in the world. If signs point to your partner, it's time to make a change. She looks for a bit of comfort, wants some tea/cuddles and sex. Those are the moments you should be focusing on, that is the person that youre in a relationship with. 11 months ago I started dating my girlfriend and everything was amazing. You are an enabler when you take on others problems to the point where they become your own. But i just seem lost and i need answers, idk if i was harsh and Im totally new at this so Im sorry if i was being harsh and all but plz help. Thank you for reaching out. It's not fun for either party, and it's definitely a sign that things aren't entirely healthy. Just stay focused on your ultimate goal with her and never lose site of how she was before depression. You mention that your girlfriends medication does not seem to be helping her. Life was perfect. Ive got a life, I want to be happy, to love, I am strong, I am bold, and I cant seem like to help her anymore, she doesnt want to, shes just getting away from me, Im losing her. Over the past year I dated someone that was unbalanced and going through a significant life transition. Wow.. so many people with so many similar issues and I thought I was the only one! Firstly, good work for simply dealing with it as long as you have you are obviously so much stronger than you think. Home Terms of Service Privacy Policy Sitemap Subscribe to The GoodTherapy Blog. Youve shown your love for her and she knows that. Let she feels that you are proud of her. Dear M, If you would like to find a mental health professional for your girlfriend, you can start finding therapists in your area by entering your city or ZIP code into the search field on this page: https://www.goodtherapy.org/find-therapist.html. I like my lectures because I feel like I have room to breathe since there is no internet connection in the lecture theaters. I forgave her and forgot all of that. Shes gone to therapy, but currently not going. She was not like this when we first met. i dont know what to do. And at the current time, I feel stretched thin with everything going around me since everyone needs me there for them, along with being there for myself. I really wish GoodTherapy.org would have some people, professionals or people who had past experiences in line with all the above comments and have them offer some advice and hope for everyone here. Ad by TruthFinder Have you ever googled yourself? Or maybe it's because your partner is jealous, or mean, or absent. I dont know what to do, I want to go out and do stuff, cant be potato couch forever. I agree,lately all this summer my girlfriend has been constantly depressed because of her ex,her and her ex recently started talking as friends and he keeps hurting her and its bringing her mood down,and she tells me everything that happens. She lacks motivation, and can struggle to get out of bed and finds it very difficult to engage with productive in her life, that I know she wants to do, but that she feels are fake and fleeting. I have a problem and cant find anyone to tell Found that website and the posts here are very similar to mine. So tell someone, it wont just save her life, but also yours. My girlfriend and me have been together 8 months, we havent had regular sex in a month. Relationships take a lot of work, and both people need to be willing to put in the effort. Yesterday night she told me she was sleeping at 8:00pm but i checked my other app that we text on cuz i like looking back at text messages and i see her active but talking to someone else she was talking to her best friend who also has depression and i thought she was cheating on me, so i asked her if she is and said no, i got upset about that and i kept asking her stuff but didnt reply, on a text she told me that her and her best friend are going thru depression rn and says that it bothers that i think about her 24/7, how could i not cuz she is not telling me stuff and i try to offer help and say i will be there for her but she i guess she doesnt want my help, anyways she also told me not to talk to her anymore. You will only drag yourself down in the end. I m still jobless for more than 2yrs thinking about her problems all the time.i can marry her after getting a good job.i feel like my life is hell and but I am not selfish too. Warm regards, I am a twenty year old student. It may be time to step back and focus on yourself. I Feel Helpless! There was a point in my life when it was obvious I needed to address my depression which exposed itself as anger and Ive been waiting 5 years for her to have the same epiphany. It Feels Like They Always Ask Too Much. I feel like she is using me even though I take care of her. The more. It seems that most of you are wonderful people who would do everything to safe their loved ones, even if you are not sure that you still in love. Your love will develop as you both learn (with help) how to manage your feelings and youll both be closer having supported one another through this difficult process, July 16th, 2016 at 5:42 AM Fact is the depression got better since he mey, I struggle with episodes now, not the full playlist, so to speak. What's my issue, and what steps can or should I take that would help both her and me? Hi everyone All i see now is cold person who i love and so frustrated by the lack of intimacy. I dealt the final blow when I advised psychological follow-up over and over again. The ex shouldnt even be in the equation. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you. She will text or call me out of blue and tell how much she appreciates my patience with her. Your girl might decide differently. If that person still doesnt change then it may be time to leave. So even if you don't initially make the connection, your relationship could be why you're always up at night. But you're dragging me down, yeah. Shawna Potter) Jim Ward. I dont know how much you have tried already, but why not try it? So he . Should I leave her be and wait for her to consult me? Im more bummed cause were not having as much sex as Id like. First two years went well. Drag Me Down Lyrics [Verse 1: Harry] I've got fire for a heart, I'm not scared of the dark You've never seen it look so easy I got a river for a soul, and, baby, you're a boat Baby, you're my. I came over this weekend, she didnt seem to be too excited, she made me dinner but kept glancing at her phone, this hurt because she made less effort to communicate with me get she was on her phone more than usual. Subscribe me to the GoodTherapy.org public newsletter. When asked I would avoid the answer because I really didnt know, and when forced, probably I would put the blame on someone else or act with aggression. Wow. One Direction - Drag Me Down (Official Video)Follow on Spotify - https://1D.lnk.to/SpotifyListen on Apple Music - https://1D.lnk.to/AppleMusicListen on Amazo. deep thoughts in my head And they just keep dragging me down there down so deep Dragging me down so deep Dragging me down so deep Dragging me down so. There is this main problem with communication between boys and girls we think a little bit differently and act too. And here's hoping you both can turn things around, and have a little more of that "good.". Dont worry youre not alone! Method 1 Addressing It Right Now 1 Avoid reacting immediately. She is suffering from depression, anxiety, restlessness, nightmares, physical issues and so on. I am torn she is stunning and beautiful, cooks, looks after me but she doesnt look after herself. Its gut wrenching. To see a list of mental health professionals practicing in your area, simply enter your ZIP code here: Good Luck Everyone. And this is where our problems come in. she is unhappy with dating. We started dating a few months after the divorce and (I admit we could have been more responsible of our actions) she is now pregnant with our first child. Go with her to therapist. We are in the office Monday through Friday from 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. Mountain Time, and our phone number is 888-563-2112 ext 3. Ive never been so stressed and sad and angry my whole life. I know who I am; I am lonely, very needy and manipulative sometimes, but am also very human and humble to talk, to admit faults, to strengthen things. Anyway, now we are almosr 3 yrs together and from the start of this year she finally admited being alcoholic and she started treatment process, with medications and therapy. ), it can really start to drag you down. She doesnt like it when I do my own thing or want to go out or have something in my life other than her. She is in a constant state of less sad at the best of times. Recently, she insulted both my mother and I in her home. See what I. we took a break for a day, then got back together. There must be fond memories. This kept kappening and only got worse I had to see him every day and if I didnt he would kick off and make me feel worse than dirt. Trying to be a significant other when your partner has depression, anorexia, bulimia, addictions etc feels absolutely terrifying. Best of luck to you on your journey. and the thing with sex: if you are curious and want to understand: Smoking and drinking! If your partner isn't nice, or loving, or supportive in any way, it can leave you feeling perfectly drained of energy. She did take medications she did try psychiatrist. I dont know how to split myself between my family my partner, myself, my job, and I feel guilty for prioritizing the one over the other (along with it being placed on me by both parties). You need to ask is that what you want for the rest of your life. Im not talking about that Mexican guy that lives down the street. Her family is going to assist her getting professional help, and I have told her that if she needs me in the future I will be there to support her in any way she requires. At the end of the day, I just believe that depression was just an excuse. past experiences? Imagine if you stay another couple years, get married, have children, then that person does the unspeakable after that? I was acting like it all was my boyfriends fault, and I sometimes felt like this. And in one point of last month,she gave me a talk about how love is stupid and its just a distraction and that it doesnt last forever. Well, Ive dating this girl for the last half-year, after two years of deep depression, isolation, drugs & alcohol abuse and poverty. We are thinking of you and wishing you and your partner the very best! It is sad, my girlfriend has depression and hates to go out. She tried attempting suicide few times.Even I am loving her lot but could not make her understand.she always wants to be around my arms! We had ups and downs for almost a year till i realised that she is alcoholic, and sadlly that the day we met (which i consider the most romantic day i had) she had bottle of wine hidden in her bag. I am very caring, soft spoken and outspoken. And as you deal with their negativity, you may find yourself no longer interested in things you used to find fun like going out, being social, or, you know, leaving the apartment. I still love him so much, but I think its the best choice for both of us. It is your life too. I was two years out watching movie series to help me distract while I forced myself to eat. Wow. Its hell and theres a lot of doubt in your thoughts like is it my fault, Im I the same, can I not make someone happy, am i insensitive. From past one to two years I came to know.Now it becomes severe.she suffers from anxiety , bipolar disorder. Well i have a very depressed girlfriend that i am dating at this moment which i do really love her which she is always unhappy when i go over her house. Don't freak out if your goals are different. Hi everyone, She talks like Im the only good thing in her life and I believe she truly feels that way. And do not try to help, just try to understand. I can not just do sex all the time Im not a robot. I take it this is detrimental to a persons feelings who has depression. She will feel a million times worse than you what about how the other side feel and how they cant cope but just have to sit and wait for them to snap out of by the time they snap out of it they could be going to their partners funeral or word they wont be able to then look after their partner. This is the person who wants what you have - your charm, your wit, your success, your intelligence, your job, your partner, whatever - and because they don't think they . 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