[Various sources: 1960 Koken, 1968 More Rugby Songs preserves the from rugby players. 15 Irish drinking toasts. [Contributed by James P. Leary. And if you can't be good, be good at it". Heres to the big bull in the wood.He does the cows and heifers good.If it werent for his long, long rod,Then what would we do for beef, by God?Mark Twain, More famous toasts in history and literature, 71.) What King? So, always toast with the audience in mind and, if in doubt, leave it out. It's one of the most common Irish drinking toasts, although you don't really hear it used in Ireland too often. Let the winds of fortune sail you, And may you sail a gentle sea. This is a handy, easy-to-deliver toast thats perfect for a person of few words. old" with "Here's to the days of old" Many of these poems have Always remember to forget. Heres to those who wish us well,All the rest can go to h. Welcome to IrishWishes.com. They range from funny and sad to mad, mental and everything in between. [From: "Huggie" Newsgroups: [said by Claire Wilcock, age 18, Nelson, Lancashire England, recorded in A quick death and an easy one. compare this with directly derived from the song "Stand to Your Glasses". Well, the Irish certainly follow this commandment. 'Stead he'll stick'his winner in 'er. That's why the parlor lamp went out. Love like youve never been hurt. Now if a man has a bushel of apples And he willfully lets them rot,And someone came along and stole them Would you blame himwhy certainly not. St. Patricks Day party planning is in full swing! And real pain for our sham friends. "Here's to the land of the shamrock so green. to make fun of, but in a gentle manner). http://sabine_texas.tripod.com/toast.htm 16.) He had a little left, so He left a little thing. [retrieved from ], TOAST TO Life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life. If we were in a certain place, And if we were sleeping face to face,Nothing between us but a little lace Would youkiss me good-night? 62.) Here's to the bee that stung the bull and sent the bull a buckin'Here's to Adam who stung Eve and sent the world a fuckin'Here's to Adam. Heres to Dame Fortune;May she smile upon you.May you never meet her daughter, Miss Fortune. Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.Ogden Nash, 68.) Contact Us. [Found on the archive Epicurious . Listed as a toast. Many Irish drinking toasts, for example, will be completely inappropriate for a large wedding reception. When God made woman, there wasn't *quite* enough, so he left a little [Bruce The Irish love to live for the moment, and thats exactly what the traditional Irish drinking toasts allow us to do, to stop, enjoy the moment, and throw a few words out to the crowd to celebrate the moment, and of course, impress your mates. Ireland, And live every day as if it were your last, While he is picking apples in the garden of Hell. Heres to a long life and a merry one. toast. Yes, our next Irish drinking toast revolves around friendship, like many of the others above. 21 Best Irish Toasts (Wedding, Drinking, And Funny), 18 Irish Wedding Blessings And Readings To Mark Your Big Day. Rude Rhymes II, pg.26. A well-delivered toast can mean the difference between a good night and a great night. Irish Jokes. ; Compare this installments. Here's to the jolly old game of Toes,A better one NEVER was found. Let us toast to animal pleasures, to escapism, to rain on the roof and instant coffee, to unemployment insurance and library cards, to absinthe and good-hearted landlords, to music and warm bodies and contraceptives and to the good life, whatever it is and wherever it happens to be.Hunter S. Thompson, 69.) Heres to the girls who doAnd heres to the girls who dontAnd heres to the girls who say they never will,But when the time comes, wont.But heres to the girls most of all,Who says they never will:I cant. Many Irish jokes tend to slag someone off (i.e. Michael asked me and Hunter (mostly Hunter) to help him move a tripod he set up in . "[Usenet: alt.jokes.tasteless], A SUNG AUSTRALIAN TOAST Tune: The first beautiful, the second full, the last ever faithful. And you can take that however you like. Check out these fun and interesting beer quotes. Dance like nobodys watching.Satchel Paige, 73.) Always remember to forgetThe things that made you sad.But never forget to rememberThe things that made you glad. Paddy missed the tube and Seamus came on the bus! Specifically called a toast. Heres to the floor, who will hold you when no one else will.May we get what we want, but never what we deserve. May those who love you love you,And those who dont love you,May god turn their hearts. ", "I wouldnt be here if it wasnt for my mum. Powered by BizBudding Inc. 10 Funny Irish Toasts That Are Easy To Memorize, 15 Dirty Irish Pick Up Lines That Will Probably Get You Slapped, 10 Rejected St. Patricks Day Playlist Songs. Compare this with the 10.) But the oceans not beer, and Im not a duck, so lets drink these pints and get messed up.. 28.) discussion board. "HELLO ASS HOLE! Tipsi's Bar Guide], Here's to the female who yields to a man,Here's to the man who'll fuck when he can,For fucking creates all our joy on earthFrom fucking you know, we all date our birth. My most brilliant achievement was persuading you to marry me.. The 32.) Heres to the glass we love so to sip,It dries many a pensive tear;Tis not so sweet as a womans lipBut a damned sight more sincere. Here's a toast to "things in space. Read more 15 Dirty Irish Pick Up Lines That Will Probably Get You Slapped. by signing up, you agree to the our terms and our Privacy Policy agreement. (Collected from _____ on When you visit the site, Dotdash Meredith and its partners may store or retrieve information on your browser, mostly in the form of cookies. 54.) Who loves not women, wine, and song,He will be a fool his whole life long. "Between you and I, we've had 'em all!" 6. [1970, 335th FS Chiefs Songbook. But never forget to remember, The things that made you glad.. Friends and family unable to understand why you cant just move on? Manyof these so-called Irish drinking toasts arent Irish at all. Our first toast is arguably best suited to a family gathering or for a night out with good friends. After all, a good sense of humor is important in every relationship. Ho Ho Ho! And let it always be the other fella who says, Lads this drinks on me.. In days of old, when men were boldAnd toilets weren't invented,They laid their loads upon the roadsAnd walked away contented. Feeling unending waves of grief? ], [From: "dick greenhaus" May all your ups and downs be under the covers! ], Here's to me and here's to you,And if in the worldThere was just us twoAnd I could promise that nobody knewWould you? 55.) Because apples were meant to be eaten, And moments were meant for delight,And that's just what we'll tell our conscience Dearif it bothers usAFTER TONIGHT To your very good health. Three are a crowd, and there were three, Happy birthday! I would rather be with the people in this room than with the finest people I know. Heres to staying positive and testing negative! on 2003-04-12. Next up is one of the more popular Irish cheers sayings, and its likely youll have come across it before. Some of the best Irish drinking toasts are short and sweet and pack fine aul a punch. If you mess up on the 2 points above, your funny Irish toast will at best fall flat on its face or at worst offend. Compare this with Alcohol may be mans worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. A pretty girl and an honest one. My friends are the best friends: loyal, willing, and able. In day of old, when knights were boldAnd paper not invented,They used tufts of grass to wipe their assAnd were very well contented. Here, you'll find everything from hike and drive guides to funky places to stay and more! [From: "raus.ins" However, weve heard plenty of stories of people that have used a bit of Irish slang during a toast, unaware of what it really meant. Frank Sinatra said, "Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy." May you live all the days of your life.Jonathan Swift, 67.) When I love them, I let them. 2) Just before he died he went drinking with his mates. "To your very good health. Not recorded there as being used as a The next day Paddy's drinking with Seamus when he boasts about the night before. Usenet: rec.humor], Here's to my friend --He passed away at 69,We all miss him so,He passed away at 69,What a way to go! Variant:The rose may kiss the butterfly, The wine may kiss the crystal glass,A girl may kiss her man goodbye, But you, my friends, may kiss my ass. Irish Drinking Toasts that we all love "May we get what we want, May we get what we need, But may we never get what we deserve" "Here's to the wine we love to drink, and the food we like to eat. May God bless old Ireland, that's this . 66.) asks Seamus. 335th FS Chiefs Songbook. Longer limerick version:Here's to it and through it and to it againTo suck it and to screw it and to screw it again So in with it out with it Lord work his will with itMay you always want to do it again. Heres to doing and drinking,Not sitting and thinking. we've stolen. To all fair(e) friends who come and go; may Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice., #28. 18.) Compare with 1992 Evan's, The men in college, The he-men and the wrecks,They do a lot of talking About drinking and about sex.Now it's been observed, In spite of what they boast of,That between the drinking and women Drinking is what they get the most of. ", See More: There are good ships and there are wood ships, these ships they sail and tame the sea. STAY PROTECTED FREE ANTIVIRUS SOFTWARE Adaware Antivirus 12 is the best antivirus ever. Conditions of Times are hard,And wages are small,So drink more beer,And fuck them all. " Whether it's a funeral wake or a visit to the surgeon, there's never a bad time for a guilty giggle. May you never meet her daughter, Miss Fortune., #22. Here's to the topAnd here's to the middleLet's hope tonightWe all get a little. state. [1934 Posted on Last updated: December 15, 2022. Wed recommend that you pause after the first line and then continue on as itll flow better that way. [1991. pg 37 May the sun shine warm upon your face, and rains fall soft upon your fields. [ca 1948 May the winds of fortune sail you, may you sail a gentle sea, may it always be the other guy who says:This drinks on me.. Heres to the storks that bring good babies, the crows that bring bad babies, and the swallows that bring no babies at all! [1948ca A pretty girl and an honest one. 2010-04-25. You might like Old Fashioned Quotes, Captions & Jokes. If you have a bawdy or erotic toast, please send it to me at If youre looking for some tunes to accompany your toast, see our guide to the best Irish drinking songs. To your very good health. May the luck of the IrishLead to happiest heightsAnd the highway you travelBe lined with green lights.Wherever you go and whatever you do,May the luck of the Irish be there with you. Can You Relate To These Boozy Memes About Wine? Bedroom Party Literature, pg. And, while youll see some that double up as Irish wedding toasts, others are packed with mischievous humour, making them better suited as an Irish cheers over drinks with friends. 2. If I were I, and you were you, would you?There are times I would and times I wouldn't,Times that I could and times I couldn't;But the times I could and would and I felt gameAre the time I'm with you, dear.Do you feel the same? One night in a moment of sexual madnessIt tried to These toasts for drinking will surely bring a smile to everyones face who hears them. From a dated Some ships are wooden ships, but those ships may sink.The best ships are friendships, and to those ships, we drink. May you live as long as you want, And never want as long as you live and Slinte are two great short and sweet toasts. ", "Drink is the curse of the land. prison: Here's to Tell that sits in his cell,Thinking of the girl he loved so well.And he often wonders if they'll take his lifeFor killing the man that poonced his wifeBut still old Tell gets free at last,And the first thing he does is look for more ass. Two are company, and no doubt, In the parlor there were three; Eat cheese and make your ass tight! Two Irish couples decide to swap partners for the night. Learned from an Irishman born If you get to itAnd can't do it,Call on me,I'm used to it. The past is history, the future is a mystery, but today is a gift, because its the present. May God bless old Ireland, thats this Irishmans toast. May you have all the happiness and luck that life can hold, and at the end of your rainbows, may you find a pot of gold., Heres to the land of the shamrock so green. Airports in Ireland: Where They Are And Which Is The Best To Fly Into, How Much Does A Trip To Ireland Cost? [1960 It protects you against viruses, malware, spyware, phishing, online scams, and hackers. Here's to the bridewho's still a virgin.Her hormonesare really surgin'. Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.Mark Twain, 79.) Zealand provenance this variant. Potent variant:Here's to it and to it again. There's endless Irish jokes. Irish Scratch-Off Bar Games Make Digital Scratch-offs Prizes like the St. Patrick Day Mobile Scratch-Off Game below. ], Another concerned a murderer who was released from Fuck you, here's to me. I'll say it was the man in Blue, For such a thing a carrier would not do. Hopefully the last line of this one wont be directed at someone whos gone too far on the night that youre making this toast! 84.) Yes, but know 1, your audience and 2, the contents of your toast. Drink to fair woman, who, I think,Is most entitled to it;For if anything drives men to drink,She certainly can do it. Hayek Date: 1992-01-31. Youll find hundreds of guides to delivering the Perfect Irish cheers online. Alcohol may be mans worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy.Frank Sinatra, 64.) #1. ListCaboodle - Fun, Informative, And Cool Stories In List Format. 33.) Just scroll through the entire list to find your favorite toast! Unfortunately, many articles online with funny Irish toasts contain offensive terms. 19 Arthur St, Belfast, Northern Ireland, BT1 4GA. Its length makes it easy to remember and recite, too! Paddy and Seamus went to London to become sperm donors. "Between you and I, we've had 'em all! May we live to learn well And learn to live well . on 7 August 2003]. WOULD Tolkien, 81.) But the oceans not beer, and Im not a duck, so lets drink these pints and get messed up. ", 2) Just before he died he went drinking with his mates. Here's to it, and at it, and at it, and to it,And to it, and it again.For the man that gets to it, and then don't do it,May never get to it again. a coin or two inside! A Guide With Examples, How To Get Around In Ireland: The Pros + Cons To Cars, Tours and Public Transport. Why Do Actors Think All Birds Say Ka Kaw? When we get drunk, we fall asleep. "[ca 1991. pg 37 The Hash House Harriers Having trouble pulling yourself together after this terrible loss? My dear friends, theyre the best friends, each is loyal, trust-worthy and able. No subject is off limits when it comes to Irish gags. RESPONSE: So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven. 11.) Did I adapt both 18 Irish Wedding Blessings And Readings To Mark Your Big Day, 9 Irish Wedding Poems To Add To Your Big Day. Reported as learned "on the streets of Brooklyn, NY back ca 2023 - Solo Pine. In the second year of marriage, the woman speaks and the man listens. 17.) [1970, Its easy to recite, light-hearted and its been around forever, so its tried and tested. Here are 9 of the dirtiest Irish jokes you can only laugh at if you're over 18 Paddy stops by the pub on the way home from the doctor. poke her in the butt, and you won't knock her up! So, theres a few need-to-knows about saying cheers in Irish to ensure that you dont land yourself in hot water. #7. discussion board.] St Patrick was a gentleman, Who through strategy and stealth, Drove all the snakes from Ireland, Heres a toasting to his health. Variant:Here's to it and for it and to it again,for if you don't do itwhen you first come to ityou may not come to it to do it again. ]Earliest Variant:A policeman came to the door one day,The mail man came and went away,Nine months there was hell to pay,Now who was to blame the blue or the gray 3.) ", A week later Paddy returns and the doctor asks: "Did the treatment work? #9. 40 of the Best Drinking . Home | on 13 March 2003Also:A FIGHTER PILOTS TOASTHere's to me in my sober moodWhen I ramble, sit and thinkHere's to me in my drunken moodWhen I gamble, sin and drink Whether you are giving a toast at the bar or just want to get in the mood, these Irish sayings about drinking will set the tone. [From: barlow6(at) news.ford.com Date: 1999-05-18. rec.humor Date: 31 Jan 1992; Find earlier source for this To h: May the stay there be as fun as the way there. Let the winds of fortune sail you, And may you sail a gentle sea. But it wasnt until he returned home from a decade-long motorcycle trip that he discovered the beauty, adventure, and freedom on his own doorstep. May its sentiment always be deeper, my friends. Better to be a well-known drunkard than an anonymous alcoholic. This time, theres a nice rowdy finish to it, that could make it perfect for a toast at the end of a meal before the nights festivities begin. I used to know a clever toast.But now I cannot think it.So fill your glass to anything.And damn your souls, Ill drink it. My dear friends, theyre the best friends, each is loyal, trust-worthy and able. If youre looking for some ideas for your St. Patricks day bash, visit our St. Patricks Day Favs on Pinterest. 49.) A Toast To BeerIf I had a dog that could piss this stuffAnd I was sure that dog could piss enoughI'd tie his head to the foot of my bedAnd such his dick 'til we both dropped dead. May she smile upon you. The majority of Irish cheers sayings revolve around friendship and wealth. all the favors you are owed. Verse). "The whole feckin' bed by the looks of it!". Collected from a woman. May your heart be light and happy, May your smile be big and wide, And may your pockets always have, A coin or two inside!. Always sense check Irish drinking toasts and, if in doubt, leave it out. Heres to a long life and a merry one. 51.) hotmail (dot) com> on 5 Feb 2004 he says that learned this "from my ex "What's the matter?" Jan. Alwayssense check (you can ask us in the comments below, if you like) a toast if it contains slang terms youre unfamiliar with. 50.) Heres to friends and family who know us well but love us just the same. And mine is the last voice you hear.. May your home always be too small to hold all your friends. 74.) "That was a nasty little habit you had!". We exist to make planning your Irish Road Trip easy. ), In with it, and out with it, and God work his will with it! Now, despite popular belief, 'Slinte' isn't the Irish word for cheers. 5.) Birthdays come once a year. [Retrieved from http://www.tech-sol.net/humor/poetry6.htm on 6 Bond is at his physical peak: tough, muscular, and incredibly fit.Stamina is essential for all that rooftop-jumping, plane-jumping, speedboat-chasing action. directly AFTER the toasts section and before the relatively well know