If you had told me 20 years ago that in the coming years I would write a book, speak at and host events I would have laughed in your face. Has the road been easy, have the opportunities come easy, did I have it all figured out as I set out on my journey? The answer to all these questions is an emphatic NO. But I learnt many lessons which I am grateful for (yes even the difficult ones). I remember hearing the statement ‘trust the process’ so many times I ended up getting agitated each time I heard it because I wanted so many things to happen in my time and much faster than they seemed to be unfolding. But truth be told you cannot escape the process, you can try to make it look like you have gone steps ahead in the process, but reality will keep you exactly where the process needs you to be. 

A while ago I visited Bushman Rock Safaris and went for wine tasting, they took us through their wine making process. I recall remarking to my friend ‘wow so many types of wine coming through primarily because of the different processes’.

First and foremost, grapes must be picked at the perfect ripeness, relating to us in our day-to-day living some people want to be processed before perfect ripeness, if picked too early or too late there are implications. 

So, my first lesson was understanding that timing is key, speaking to readiness/preparedness not going ahead of the process or falling behind because you can totally ruin the anticipated outcome or miss opportunities for your ‘picking’ when ready. Wines take anything from 50 days to 4 years to fully ferment; furthermore, looking at red wine time affects the process of bringing out the best flavours. When we bring it to our day to day living it’s important to know that our processes differ because of the fermenting timeframes and “flavour” we are purposed to be. You may be comparing yourself with wine that only needs 1 year to be ready, and you are that wine that needs 4 years, not comparing like with like and building unnecessary pressure and frustrations in trying to go ahead of process. Because of the erroneous comparison you begin to question yourself or judge yourself too harshly and maybe even call yourself names ‘inadequate’, failure’ etc.

You need to gravitate and journey your mind, to fully understand what your flavor is and allow the processes to prepare you despite the frustration of things not happening in your craved time.

When I reflect on my life journey there are turns I did not understand when they unfolded but now when I reflect and look back, I comprehend why the stages came my way, the pressing where there was more pain than joy and maybe like red wine after the first pressing there is a second pressing process [just when you think it’s getting easier right] called malolactic fermentation.

So remember, beating yourself down because you are looking at the wrong clock ie your neighbors timing can cause you to second guess yourself and allow self-doubt to reframe who you are. You must come to terms with the timing set for your journey. What is key is to constantly ensure your vineyard is taken care of so that you do not miss your harvesting season. Trust the process of preparation and growth, you do not ‘just arrive’, allow the making of a leader to work its full process.

Lessons learnt at the winery:-

1. You cannot escape the process

2. Trying shortcuts will bring out compromised quality

3. Your process can never be compared to anyone else’s but you

4. Time is a true test of refinement

One of the elements self-esteem speaks to is belief in self. When you find yourself constantly comparing yourself with people around you and building a false narrative that they are better, or you have something you are not doing right because you are looking at their timing and convinced that it must be the same timing as yours. You find that one of the contributors to this kind of thinking is not thinking much or yourself, low self-esteem. There is power in building healthy self-esteem, because when your ripening season is taking longer than desired/expected you will not attack, question or discredit your abilities.

Do you feel I was touching on some of the struggles you have experienced? Let’s talk and take a journey to break off limiting beliefs and help you stand out.